Money & Gender

Last night I read an article in which young women were complaining about their mates or dates who complain about the fact that they (the women) make more money than they (the men) do. The women said that their dates often openly admitted or implied in one way or another that they were not comfortable with women making more money than they did. For some reason, the women took offense to this. They wondered why men couldn't accept women being more driven and/or successful in business than men in some situations. Why?

I am one who is all for a woman being successful, getting a top job based on her skill, knowledge, and experience, and bettering herself instead of staying at home making children. As a woman, I am no less qualified or less able to do jobs that formerly were dominated by men. I can tell from the article, that those women agree. But unlike them, I am able to see why men would be upset with women making more money than them.

If my mate/date made more money than me, it would bother me too! I don't buy into the 'conventional wisdom' that says the man is the "breadwinner." I believe a couple should work together and contribute equally in a relationship. The scales should not be tipped one way or the other.

I believe that no matter the gender, people are naturally competitive. So, if a woman makes more than a man, he'll probably be upset. And if a man makes more than a woman, she'll probably be upset. I don't think it has anything to do with which gender earns a better salary.

The women in the article were also saying that sometimes they dated older men because they were more on the same financial level as they were. To me, that is stupid. If you are looking for a mate based on what they make, rather than what makes them a great person for you, then how will you ever be happy? Look for personality--not money, people!

It's time for people to accept the fact that people will be upset when they make more than them--no matter which person in a relationship makes more.

Here's the link to the article if you're interested: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/fashion/23whopays.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&oref=slogin